Stupidity, Terror, and a little bit of Jack Palance.

Well, if you know me, I'm a reddit addict. I don't want to be, but I live in a suburb where the only hobby (myself included) is to eat at McDonalds.

Well today, they had a link, "What's the scariest story you know, real or fake?" Considering my job is 8 hours of me sitting at a computer pretending to move excel cells around, I welcomed this thread with open arms.

NOPE. This is my face now:

Think Heart of Darkness minus Africa, genocide, and ugh, a plot. 

Fake urban legends, eh, scary. Real stories, FREAKING TERRIFYING. I'm in a giant room of florescent light bulbs, and at least 60 people, and I almost shit myself 3 times. I don't scare very easily, though I am particularly jumpy. A rep came to ask me a grammar question, and I almost skewered him with a pen and a coffee mixer.

If you never want to sleep again, read Footsteps by 1000Vultures, recently made into a novel called Penpal. Oh you think you're tough, but nope, nope you aren't. This is almost as bad as the night I had that dream Christopher Lloyd was trying to kill me while wearing a Scar (yes, the Lion) costume.

Or that night I watched City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly's Gold at the age of 6. Didn't sleep for a week, afraid Jack Palance would come in the night and murder me.

As if costarring in a movie with Jon Lovitz wasn't terrifying enough, Billy Crystal must endure making this face.