IDK, my BFF Wikipedia?

I really can't remember my life before I met my best friend, wikipedia. He's always there for me when I have a question, or when I'm bored, or when I can't sleep and just need someone to distract me. With Wikipedia, I've learned in-depth facts about the LA Riots, the OJ Simpson trial, alpine climbing, and most recently, the fate of all of the Roosevelt children. 


Yes, I know Wikipedia doesn't always tell the truth, and he gets around (in fact, I'm pretty sure just about everybody has touched Wikipedia, which is why I refuse to get romantically involved), but he's simple, smart, multi-lingual, and more often than not lists his citations. What could be better than a best friend like that? So, for Wednesday Listday, I present:


Eight Sentences From Wikipedia That Make Absolutely No Sense Out of Context....or In Context



8. The International Rutabaga Curling Championship started spontaneously in December 1997.


7. Do not allow yourself to become a stupid drunk and set a bad example for locals' treatment of other hobos.


6. Note the addition of Hitler having had a brass testicle.


5. Three cars were buried at Carhenge. Their "gravestone" is a car that reads: "Here lie three bones of foreign cars. They served our purpose while Detroit slept. Now Detroit is awake and America's great!"


4. Nevertheless, dwarf tossing is not outrightly banned in France.


3. In an episode of Celebrity Deathmatch, Beck was featured fighting Björk in a "battle to be the best monosyllabic musician of all time", which ended with both of them slain by Bach, who appeared via a time machine.


2. The first cat mission was eavesdropping on two men in a park outside the Soviet compound on Wisconsin Avenue in Washington, D.C. The cat was released nearby, but was hit and killed by a taxi almost immediately.


1. She resides in the sky, and when she feels the urge to urinate, does so onto the Earth in the form of rain.




I'd give you the origins...but nah. It's better this way.


NOTE: ALL I WANTED WAS A PICTURE OF A PERSON HUGGING A WIKIPEDIA LOGO. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO FUCKING ASK? Google, you have failed me. 


EDIT: My friend Nick, a noble knight if there ever was one, just emailed me this after hearing my Google Image dilemma. My love for him amounts to my love for burritos multiplied by five.

Imagine this is me, friendship spooning with Wikipedia.