All we are...are black beans in the wind. In space. On a burrito.

Today was pretty great, even though I'm currently under a myriad of first-world problems: I have a weirdly mild yet blood-coughing-up sinus infection, I haven't had power in my house for almost 24 hours, and I'm really bloated (Sonic dinner, I blame thee.) BUT what's awesome about today is the complete unraveling of Mitt Romney's international reputation. It's almost as if he has no idea what he's doing...but I digress. I don't want to talk about politics today, because for the first time in 3+ weeks, I can see the sun. (Nevermind that the sun gives me headaches, but if one more severe thunderstorm hits while I just want to chill outside, I'm flamethrowing the sky. I'm not sure how, but I'm doing it.)

Today I'm supposed to post a picture, but once again, I don't have my computer where all of my pictures reside. SO, here's a picture of the most important place in the entire world, taken from their website:


If I could list this as my legal residence, I would.

BBQ means so much to me, regardless of its 20oz frozen pina coladas.  Its Mac and Cheese is a Nick-favorite, and their Samosas have saved Gabby's (and my) hunger countless times. BBQ (not Dallas BBQ...NOT DALLAS) is my favorite place to watch off-duty NYPD eat greasy food, to watch the degenerates of NYU society head downstairs to Asian Pub Redux. You can count the crying girls, if you're in the mood. Many, many hours I have spent here: talking about life, solving problems....with generous alcohol consumption, and saying goodbyes.

To me, BBQ belongs to me and my friend Ezra. We had a 40oz. club, though we never officially called it that, and he always let me stay at his place (even if I was carrying a giant box from Crate and Barrell and had made a giant, drunk fool of myself...I mean, hypothetically, of course.) So, today, I post this picture in honor of him and all he's done for me these past three years, and to the honor of BBQ, for keeping me so, so sane.

Ezra and I had this conversation yesterday, because we are so introspective at 3PM on a Thursday:

Me: The worst way to die, would be to suffocate in globs of toxic orange fat
Ezra: unless...that is...it came off a giant nacho casserole in the sky...
Me: then excuse me, I mean that would be the most glorious way to die
  suffocating in nacho cheese, glory in every bite...but who made that casserole?
Ezra: yes exactly. hmmm..
Amy: was it sent to kill me or am i just collateral damage?
Ezra: I think we are just the collateral damage
Me:  WHAT if it was an alien that I mistook to be a giant nacho casserole
  and I just ate their queen
Ezra: I think it was an alien, I think it was the aliens from the end of Men in Black
Me: Good thing I'm dead, or they'd have killed me
Ezra: ohhhh, I see where you were going with that, yeah, I feel that
Me: were you saying that the giant aliens playing marbles with our galaxy created the giant casserole?
  Beacause I also like that...that a cheese, somewhere exists that is bigger than the milky way
  HOW BIG IS THAT COW/TORTILLA CHIP IN WHICH TO MAKE A NACHO
Ezra: yes I was...omg...yes... so true
  like one tortilla chip is it's own plane of existence...what if we are just on one big black bean right now!!
Me: Ho-ly shit. And god is a Mexican guy, eating at a cantina
  Or I guess no. those aliens are Mexicans.
  I just want everything everywhere to be mexican
Ezra: Amen. a-MEN
Me: I'm probably going to put this conversation on my blog
  ....I've become self aware
Ezra: I mean, I'm fine with that. we actually just ironed out a really big universal problem.
Me: That we are, in fact, floating on a giant bean.
  I feel better about life now.
Ezra: Me too. Everything seems suddenly more wholesome, and like it all has a purpose, like we exist to be the meal of an even bigger alien that is so huge...it exists in a different plane. We are nourishment.
Me: and then, what if we eat universes everytime we eat a burrito? We are both destroyers of worlds, and prey to the mightier. WE ARE NOURISHMENT. a-fucking men, man.

The end. Have a great weekend. Go eat a burrito.